Nunca escribí la secuela de este post por una sencilla razón (¿por qué hay tantas «sencillas» razones?): ya no me hace gracia. El tema es que nuestro nuevo casero se presentó en el edificio con muy malas formas y obligado por una institución que media entre landlors e inquilinos, nos dijo que nos olvidáramos de la calefacción central gratis (dos semanas antes de las peores nevadas en Dublín en unos 30 años, quizá más) y nos dejó claro que a partir de ahora las íbamos a pasar un poco canutas (algún día contaré todas las calamidades, nuevas calamidades, que hemos pasado en los últimos dos meses). El remate vino hace pocos días cuando nos mandó un SMS diciendo que el edificio se pone a la venta el mes que viene, con lo que a no mucho tardar seguro que tenemos este otro SMS: «Id buscando nuevo piso, majetes, tenéis que desalojar». Buscando piso en la web nacional de pisos, daft.ie, he encontrado el mejor anuncio de este tipo que he leído nunca, o al menos empata con cualquiera que ocupe ese puesto. Os lo copio debajo, subrayando y destacando en negrita los highlights del mismo:
This double bedroom with shower-ensuite in a great two-person, third-floor apartment right next to Collins Barracks and the Museum Luas stop is available to let immediately. In this market? In that location? For that price? That’s right – get excited hun.
This is a spacious and bright apartment with a great kitchen, lounge area and dining area and is four minutes from Smithfield Square. The apartment comes with a balcony which is ideal for «people watching» AKA «judging people». The new tenant will take over the vacating tenant’s lease, which expires in August and will then renew for a further year. The rent of €710 includes bin charges and electricity is paid separately.
The apartment is shared with a single, gay, 26 year old, professional male whose interests are fairly millennial when written down and include memes, food, socialising, fitness and dreadful 80s movies. The holy festival of the Eurovision will be observed and honoured in our home. We are looking one person who is fun, tidy and hard-working to move in and viewings will be arranged with interested applicants. Unfortunately, couples will not be considered. To repeat in simpler English, «no couples» – this includes two friends in the one room.
If you are interested, please send us a message with some information about yourself – bonus points for sense of humour. If this ad is still live, the apartment is still available and we’d like to hear about your interests and your work. While we intend to respond to queries individually, depending on the volume of interest, if we do not respond to your query, you should presume that the room has been let and that your hopes and dreams have been dashed. Yes, this is a genuine ad; we paid €45 for it LOL.
lapintaroja.wordpress.com 